Guilt
“Everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks in it”
I don’t have many memories of when my parents were together
And maybe that is for the best because I don’t think any part of it was really happy
I remember when he finally left
Going through with the threats I felt were just empty
I remember the burning in my eyes
Hot streams of tears running down my face,
Staining my tanned skin
Maybe that’s why I cling so tightly to things that hurt me
I think that I find comfort in the things that overwhelm me
Harm me
I find comfort in the darkness of an ocean
Waiting until I can finally sink down into the shape spike that have been calling my name for so long
Ever since I left this situation you and I are trapped in I’ve felt guilt
And I can’t help but wonder if that’s what my dad felt when he chose another person over his only daughter,
Just like I chose myself over the one person who was pretending to cheer me on.
